Whether you’re single/dating/married/partnered or anything else – HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY TO YOU!!!!

Puffs of fluff in San Diego

Fragile daisies in the backyard – and a bonus bumblebee!

Cholla (pronounced cho-ya) – meanest cactus in the desert

…but they sure do have pretty blooms…..

Hopefully, we’ll get some sun this week and I can snap some new desert growth! Happy Friday!

I am fresh out of blog ideas today.  I was perusing my great big book of blog ideas and came across a page that said “Just Confess!”  I wrote a blog post from the lovely Not a Mean Girl a couple of months ago, so I am going to recycle it for you guys, with a few added details! Away we go….

My paternal grandmother died nine years ago and at her funeral I almost tipped her open coffin over….take a moment to digest that. Now here’s the story….

My grandmother was a pet lover, just like me. I’m sure that’s where I inherited my need to have many furries around me at all times! When I was very little, my grandmother had an apricot toy poodle named Bianca. I don’t remember much about Bianca except that she always wore a “diamond” collar, was extremely yappy and I was always afraid I was going to get bitten!

When Bianca died, my grandmother had her cremated and she kept the ashes in a little urn on the bookshelf. Next to the urn she kept a little stone replica of Bianca in a little basket. Stone Bianca wore real Bianca’s collar and my grandmother made sure she kept a Milk Bone cookie underneath Stone Bianca at all times.

Flash forward several years to the funeral…..

There’s my grandma, lying peacefully, having passed away at the ripe old age of 95. Next to her side in the casket was Stone Bianca in her little basket. As I stood there saying my goodbyes, I found myself staring at the little stone figure and it suddenly became extremely important to me to make sure that Stone Bianca had a Milk Bone to take with her on her trip to the great beyond, so I leeeeeeeeaaaannnneeedd carefully across my grandma to lift Stone Bianca out of her basket.  In my defense, I had no idea those little fucking dogs were so heavy and I may have stumbled forward. Into the casket. The casket resting on one of those wheeled carts. Those collapsible, wobbly wheeled carts. Shit.

ROCK ROCK ROCK ROCK ROCK ROCK went the casket as time stopped. I watched in slow motion as the casket rocked back and forth threatening to topple over. Fan-fucking-tastic. I was about to see the body of my 95 year old grandmother toppled to the ground in a heap all because I had to look for a goddamn Milkbone. Really? Areyoufuckingkiddingme?

Fortunately, karma was on my side that day and the casket FINALLY settled back into place. I turned around and let out a deep breath, looking up to see both of my cousins looking at me with huge grins on their faces, trying very hard to hold back the gales of laughter I knew were threatening both of them.  I shot them both dirty, threatening looks – very scary since I am all of 5’4″ and they are both well over 6′ tall. Nine years later, they still this story every time we’re together. We laugh and clink beer bottles toasting Grandma and both of the Biancas. Isn’t that what family is all about?

     On Monday afternoon, I found myself sitting in the Oakland airport. I was in a very bad mood after hearing bad news from home and a negative encounter with a nasty lady and I was very crabby after having to wait for the delayed plane. Finally, I boarded the plane and found myself sitting next to an adorable little girl traveling alone.  She immediately introduced herself, “I’m Emma Cutie Patooty. I’m 9 and I’m going to my grandma’s in Las Vegas for two weeks until my mom gets back. I have all of my homework in my suitcase so I don’t fall behind because I have A’s right now and I DO NOT want to get back home and have F’s!”  I told her it was nice to meet her then pulled out my knitting project while she settled in with a book.

            As I knit, I could see her out of the corner of my eye.  She kept peeking over at me and then back to her book. After a few minutes, she started leaning in my direction to get a better look at the scarf I was working on. Finally, when her head was practically in my lap, I asked, “Do you knit Emma?”

            “Yep. My grandma taught me last summer, but I ran out of yarn and mommy keeps forgetting to take me to get more.” She heaved a big sigh the way only a nine year old who has to put up with something as exasperating as forgetful parents can do.  I put my knitting down and fished an extra set of needles and a new skein of yarn out of my bag. “Would you like to knit with me?” I asked handing the treasures over.

            Her green eyes got huge and round as she almost threw the book down and grabbed the yarn.  She held it for a moment while I resumed my own knitting. “The thing about knitting…”she started, “is that casting on is soooooooo hard. I can’t remember how to do it.” I took the yarn and we decided that she would knit a scarf “for next winter, because it’s very cold in the winter and you don’t want your neck to freeze.” I cast on 26 stitches and then handed the needles over to Emma.

            We spent the next hour with bamboo needles clicking like false teeth and I listened to her chatter on and on about school and her friends.  When we landed, she finished the row she was working on, looked down at her five inches of beautiful garter stitch and started to hand the project to me. I stopped her and said, “Why don’t you keep it. I have lots of needles at home. You can finish your scarf before your mom gets back..”

            The grin that spread across her face was priceless. I waited while the other passengers deplaned, then walked off the plane with Emma and the flight attendant to meet her grandmother.  Emma excitedly rambled our whole story out in one long run on sentence while holding up her handiwork for her grandmother to see.  The grandmother chuckled and thanked me. Emma hugged me goodbye and then off we went in our separate directions, her skipping beside her grandmother, and me strolling along with a happy smile on my face.

           **********************************************************

            I posted a note about our encounter on Plurk and several people told me how sweet I was to give her the knitting supplies, but honestly, Emma’s kindness, gratitude and pure childish joy at being given such a small token was worth far more than the cost of the yarn and the needles.  She made me smile and relax, simply enjoying spinning yarn into fabric, instead of stewing in the negative thoughts I had when I boarded the plane and for that I am grateful. So Emma Cutie Patooty, wherever you are in Las Vegas, I hope you finish all your homework so you don’t lose your straight A status and I hope next winter you enjoy the pretty green scarf you made so your neck won’t freeze.

I don’t have any words of wisdom this week, just support for a friend who is finding out the hard way that sometimes people aren’t who you think they are at all.  We love you. 

You’ve got a friend in me
You’ve got a friend in me
When the road looks rough ahead
And you’re miles and miles
From your nice warm bed
Just remember what your old pal said
Boy, you’ve got a friend in me
You’ve got a friend in me 
You’ve got a friend in me
You’ve got a friend in me
You’ve got troubles, well I’ve got ‘em too
There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you
We stick together and we see it through
You’ve got a friend in me
You’ve got a friend in me 

Some other folks might be
A little bit smarter than I am
Bigger and stronger too
Maybe
But none of them will ever love you the way I do 
It’s me and you
And as the years go by
Boys, our friendship will never die
You’re gonna see
It’s our destiny
You’ve got a friend in me
You’ve got a friend in me
You’ve got a friend in me

Don’t forget to check out the other Simply Kind Tuesday posts!

1. Do you wear slippers? Sometimes, but I prefer fluffy chenille socks.
2. How many pictures are in your living room? 79 pictures of various family and friends.
3. Do you wear a bra to bed at night? Hell to the no! The girls must be freeeeeeeee!
4. Do you ever watch Brady Bunch reruns? Would watch them if I ever watched normal TV!
5. Are you allergic to anything? Cats, dogs, and everything that grows.
6. When was the last time you called in sick? Last Wednesday
7. Have you ever been in a car accident? Several, one day I’ll tell you about my brain bruise.
8. What is your favorite snack food? Popcorn, buttery, buttery popcorn
9. Do you think you have a big butt? Yes
10. Would you like to look like your mom when you are her age? Yep, my mom looks fab!
11. Have you ever seen a tornado? Never
12. Do you think Barack Obama is sexy? Sexy, no. Attractive, yes.
13. If you won a million dollars, what would you buy first? I would pay off my mortgage in a hot minute!
14. What time is it right now? 9:57
15. Are you pregnant? Oh Christ, hell no.
16. Have you ever been pregnant? Yes, six years ago
17. Do you like men who wear pink shirts and flip-flops? Whatever, some men can carry it off. I say if it looks good, wear it!
18. How many pairs of shoes do you own? Upwards of 70…I think.
19. Do you think you are a hypochondriac? No, in fact I often get yelled at for not going to the doctor when I probably should.
20. Do you own a dictionary? Bunches of them
21. Where was the last place you went on vacation? San Diego
22. Do you talk about your friends behind their back? Nope. My friends are all friends with each other and that would be bad news.
23. Are you actually fat but in complete denial about it? No, I have a medical condition called RA, Reverse Anorexia. It makes me think I’m too thin.
24. What color is your mouse pad? I don’t have one, my mouse is commando!
25. Does your kitchen have a theme? Two, on on the stove and one on the microwave.
26. Do you like to mow the yard? No, but thankfully DigitalRob does.
27. Are you addicted to using Febreze? Not addicted, but I do love the stuff.
28. What is your ring size? 7
29. When was the last time you consumed alcohol? Right now. I am sipping tasting gulping a pomegranate martini. 
30. Do you know someone who gets food stamps? No
31. Do you have a basement in your home? No
32. Are you still in love with one of your exes? Uh, nooooooooo.
33. Any big plans for the summer? Yep! A trip to Park City with DigitalRob and LW, a trip to NYC with my Plurkalinas and a trip to Disneyland.
34. What is your favorite comfort food? Macaroni and cheese or mashed potatoes.
35. Do you prefer broccoli or asparagus? Mmmmm…I love them both!
36. What color are your bedroom walls? boring ass off white. I can’t decide what color.
37. Whom do you live with? DigitalRob, our LittleWhirlwind, Kairo, Cleo, Scooby and Unagi (the dogs and the cat) Ping and Mickey (the guinea pigs) 5 fish and a turtle.
38. Which Star Wars movie is your favorite? Episode 6: The Return of the Jedi – I’m a sucker for an ewok!
39. How about Harry Potter? I love all the books, so far my favorite movie has been Order of the Phoenix.
40. What was the last movie you saw in theaters? Bedtime Stories
41. Did you get the popcorn or candy? popcorn
42. What is the most romantic text in your inbox? “Hey, baby lets get it on. Humina humina.” I’m not kidding….
43. Have you ever played miniature golf on a date? Yep, DigitalRob and my third date was to a mini golf course.
44. What’s a phrase you overuse? “Seriously?”
45. Where do you buy most of your shoes? I’m an equal opportunity shoe whore, wherever I see a pair I like, I shop.
46. Do you always use good grammar? I try but often fail miserably.
47. Do you have an accent or a speech impediment? Nope.
48. What did you eat today? granola and yogurt for breakfast, popcorn and mini marshmallows for lunch and chicken fingers for dinner. 
49. What do you do at work? Answer questions, make charts, review, review, review. I’m a financial advisor, it’s not glamorous.
50. Do you know the rules to any sports? Soccer
51. Do you prefer to watch or play sports? Watch
52. What is your favorite kind of hat to wear? I don’t like hats
53. Do you pray? Yes, but not nearly as often as I should.
54. Whom do you pray to? God
55. What is the closest mountain to your house? the Sierra Nevadas
56. When is the next time you will move? I hope within the next 5 years. Please, please, please!
57. Isn’t there something better you could be doing right now? Define “better.”
58. Is there anything good on TV? Not right now.
59. Does your significant other have a MySpace? No, we prefer Facebook.
60. What is your dream marriage proposal? The one I got.
61. What are your nicknames and who gave them to you? Mimsy, Perp or Perpalina.
62. How often do you wear jewelry? Every day. I panic if I forget earrings.
63. What size engine is in your vehicle? I haven’t the foggiest idea and I’m not going to the garage to check.
64. What do you need to do tomorrow? Go to work and write up plan reviews.
65. Whom do you hope never to see again? Nobody.
66. Which friend of yours lives the farthest away? My elementary/junior high school BFF Tanya. She lives in New Hampshire.

Winter Blooms

A finished snack for the birds

Catching raindrops

The neighbor’s “masterpiece.” We’re still hoping that’s the primer…..

I know this one was up the other day, but it’s my favorite this week!

Don’t forget to check out Lotus’ Weekly Winners and see the other participants shots at Sarcastic Mom.

While LW and the dog splashed in puddles, I played with the camera. I laid on the patio, I switched lenses, switched settings and had fun seeing what Herb (after the late Mr. Ritts, of course) was capable of.  Wow. I got some great shots!  I won’t bore you with all of my raindrops falling on the ground and puddles, but these are a few of my faves….

OK, ONE raindrops in the rocks picture….I promise there won’t be any more!

Catching raindrops…

Ferns need love too!

LW dancing and praying for more rain!

The kid has mad rain dancing skillz because it is STILL raining. The backyard is covered with puddles, it is cold and the house is filled with the smell of wet dog. Maybe we’ll go have a little more fun in the rain today!

Happy weekend!

I have something to say and it’s not pretty. I am entering uncharted waters here and my male readers may want to grab a life preserver in case they need to jump overboard. I need to get down to the nitty gritty. Men, this may be too much for you to bear, but if we can put up with the eight kajillion euphemisms you have for your peepee (yep, I said it) then you can just grin and bear it through this list. 

I hate the word menstruation. It reminds me of sixth grade sex ed and then I get visions of rubbers on bananas and start freaking the fuck out. What if the banana isn’t the right size, what if it’s too pointy, oh dear God, so many things could go wrong! *Ahem* Back on track….I am not fond of period either. I don’t know why, it’s just weird. I’m on my period…if it’s extra short can I say I’m on my comma?  Sometimes a girl needs a more discreet euphemism for riding the cotton pony so next time you’re stuck, try one of these doozies out!  

1. Miss Scarlett’s Come Home to Tara 
2. Trolling for Vampires 
3. A Dishonorable Discharge from the Uterine Navy 
4. Saddling Old Rusty 
5. Feelin’ Menstru-riffic! 
6. Clean-Up in Aisle One 
7. Massacre at the Y 
8. T-Minus 9 Months and Holding 
9. Game Day for the Crimson Tide 
10. Panty Shields Up, Captain! 
11. Taking Carrie to the Prom 
12. Playing Banjo in Sgt. Zygote’s Ragtime Band 
13. Ordering l’Omelette Rouge 
14. Arts and Crafts Week at Panty Camp 
15. Rebooting the Ovarian Operating System 
16. Aunt Floe is visiting
17. When the red flag flies over egypt it’s no man’s land…

What’s your favorite term for that time of the month? Happy Friday!