Gracie strikes again!

Knowing Gage wouldn’t be home for a few hours, I changed into shorts and a tank top, poured myself a glass of wine and sat down on the couch to daydream….

Gage would come home and ask how my day was.  I would tearfully tell him about how awful Joe had been, that I just couldn’t take being treated like a slave anymore and end the story with my triumphant march from the office.  In my daydream, my fantastic boyfriend would sweep me into his arms, brush my hair away from my face and say, “No worries, baby.  You take all the time you need to find a job you love working with people who treat you with the respect and admiration you deserve.” He would lower his head and kiss me until I saw stars.  Um, did I mention that was the daydream version?

Yeah, reality went more like this:

Gage comes in slamming the door behind him. “Hey babe, what’s for dinner?”

“I haven’t really thought about it. My day was terrible.” I paused waiting for the question, but it never came. 

Strike one for the boyfriend.

I launched into my story while he sat on the couch staring at me with an open mouth, I assumed the mouth was on the floor because he was amazed and impressed with my bravery, but alas it was not so. 

“Um, aren’t you do for another performance bonus next month?”

“Well, I was, but I guess not anymore.”

Enter strike two for the boyfriend.

He has now been placed firmly atop my shit list. “Wow. I was counting on that money.”

First of all, what the hell do you mean you were counting on MY money? This better be good, good as in I-wanted-to-take-you-on-a-fantastic-vacation-and-slip-a-ring-on-your-finger- good “For what?” I asked.

“The guys are going scuba diving in Costa Rica and I wanted to go with them. I was counting on half of your bonus check for my trip.”

What the hell? Is he kidding? Let me get this straight. Not only have I not been told that I did the right thing and it would all be ok, but NOW it’s my fault that he can’t go on a trip with the boys?  Had it ended there, this story may have gone in an entirely different direction, but apparently the man I had wasted three years of my life on, the man I assumed I would spend the rest of my life with was not such a great guy, but instead a giant asshat.  

“My bonus check? You were going to use MY bonus check to go on a trip with the boys? Are you kidding me?” I said, trying not to shriek.

Aaaannnnd…..strike three.

“It’s not like you have anything to use it on. What’s the big deal?”

I stood staring for a moment and then suddenly the room got a little brighter, everything around me became a little bit clearer and Gage shrunk right in front of my eyes almost like my life was suddenly being lived in HD.  He’s out. 

I laughed and shaking my head left the room without saying a word.  I marched to the bedroom, shut the door and looked around.  There was nothing in this apartment I couldn’t live without.  Most of the furniture had been Gage’s before I moved in and what I had purchased could be replaced. 

I took three suitcases from the closet and started packing.  As I was folding jeans, Gage yelled,” Since you’re not hungry, I’m going to grab a burger with Brian.” I heard the sound of the door click and it was as if a door in my heart had shut too.  I was done. Finished. Hasta Luego, Dude. 

I filled two suitcases with clothes and the third with books.  Everything else went into boxes that I would ask my friend Madeline to store for me.  Lugging my suitcases outside one by one, I threw them in my little car.  I stopped and took a deep breath, wondering if I was making a big mistake.  If I walked out now, it wouldn’t be easy to come back. Then I remembered Gage’s response to my shitacular day and knew I couldn’t stay here for one more minute.

I walked upstairs and wrote a two-word note to Gage, “Goodbye, Asshole.” With that, I turned and left my home of the past two and a half years for the last time.

I live, ok I lived, in Las Vegas.  People who run away often end up in my fair city, but where does one go when the need to run away from Las Vegas arises? South to San Diego.  Fifteen minutes later, with a sketchy plan in my head, I called Madeline’s cell phone and got voicemail. “Madness, I did it! I quit my job, left Gage and I’m going on a little trip. Will you go to the apartment and get the rest of my crap? It’s all boxed up and ready to go. Please, oh please? I love you and I’ll call soon.”

I hung up the phone and threw it on the passenger seat.  After a quick stop for the biggest diet coke on the planet, I slipped on my sunglasses, turned up the radio and hit the open road, headed south towards my favorite city in the country.

When I woke up the next morning and looked around. Where the hell was I?  felt hungover and miserable. Unfamiliar ceiling, weird floral comforter…oh my God! It all came rushing back in one big mind dump. That’s when the panic set in, so I did what any normal girl does when she finds herself in the midst of a nervous breakdown, she calls her best friend. 

When Maddi answered the phone, I was sobbing and hyperventilating. “Ohmygod ohmygod, ohmygod! What have I done? Maybe if I come back, Joe will forget I quit and I can beg Gage for forgiveness, what do I do?”  All of this was squealed while I flung myself face first into the pile of pillows stacked up on the orange and pink floral hotel room comforter.  I rolled over and looked in the mirror attached to the ceiling.  My hair was ratted and frizzy. Yesterday’s makeup was smeared across my cheeks and into my hair. My face was red and blotchy from crying and my eyes looked as if I had been on a two-week bender. 

“Calm down, you’re fine,” responded my voice of reason. “You have wanted the opportunity to be free from responsibilities for awhile for years. Take it. It might never happen again. Just go and see where the wind takes you.”

“But, I have no job to come back to, no boyfriend and nowhere to live.” I sobbed.

“You’ll figure it out. For now, go find yourself. You hated that job and everything about it. I never wanted to tell you this, but Gage is a douchebag of the finest variety. You don’t need him and you shouldn’t want him. Now, go buy a map of someplace – anyplace, and call me back. When you get back, if you come back, you can crash with me.” With that Maddi hung up the phone.

            I sat for a moment pondering my best friend’s words.  She was absolutely right. I needed a change, a big one.  Now all I had to do was figure out how to make it happen.  I threw on my flip flops and marched out the door, determined to find the map that would lead me to my future.